'my body's electric [tegan]

[beth]

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As she arrived home from school, Addison felt the same sense of nervous excitement she'd been experiencing for awhile now, an excitement that she couldn't exactly tell anyone about. How would she explain to people her attachment to someone she met online? A girl? At the very least she'd be laughed at and if the rest of her clique were feeling particularly vindictive she would most likely be vilified, shunned. She feared it now of course, since her online 'girlfriend' hadn't revealed her identity except through her screen name and a few suggestive words. However, despite never having seen the girl, Addison knew her, imagined what she might look like and became sure her image of the girl was close to what she really was.

Today, she was hoping to get her to open up and not be afraid of the consequences. It would be hard considering this was still new to her as well, but if this was going to go anywhere she'd eventually have to see the girl she had given herself to, unintentionally at first. It had started out pretty innocuous, just some mindless girly flirting, and then had led to something altogether more sensual with such ease and subtlety that Addison had hardly noticed at first. She just remembered one day talking to her friend more intimately than usual, and getting a positive response from that, pressing on, encouraged more and more by the girl's seeming liking of what she was doing.

Eventually, things had escalated to where they were now. Addison had finally revealed her identity, now it was the other girl's turn. Seeing her offline, she frowned a little but sent an offline message anyway. "I want to talk to you about something." Well that was straightforward enough to spark her friend's curiosity. Now to sit back and hope the girl wasn't off telling all her friends about what Addison was doing.

[cassie]

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As she dropped her bag down on the floor next to her bed Tegan thanked the heavens that she was home and safe again. School days were the hardest to get through since she met Addison online. At first the idea of having someone secret and just for her had been exciting. She had to share all of her friends at school with the rest of their group and any guys friends she made were all through Aiden anyway. There wasn't really anyone at her table, aside from maybe Emelia, that she could really call a friend. They were all acquaintances, people that were her friends people of who she dated and the people she was seen circulating with. None of that had really been a problem until she realised what she was missing out on. Meeting Addison had shown her that it really was something special to have someone you could express every single thought and emotion to. Even as close as she was with the girl she would call her 'best friend' she still knew there were things she couldn't tell her. Things like how she felt watching some of the girls undress for the showers after her gymnastics practise. However, she could tell Addison these things. She could tell her and know that she wasn't going to over react and tell the whole school. Sure, part of that was because she didn't know who she'd be talking about thanks to her skills to avoid the girls questions, but it was still nice to have.

Of course, that simple love of their friendship together had changed when she found out exactly who the girl on the other side of the screen was. Not only was she a girl in the city she was a girl in her school, a girl who saw her every day around the building and had even been in her social sciences class the previous year. It totally threw everything she'd thought about having a secret online girlfriend figure and was now becoming a daily school pressure. Every time she was with Aiden, doing the dutiful girlfriend act she could always see Addison out of the corner of her eye, talking, laughing joking around with her friends. It was almost physically painful to be so close and not be able to touch her. Not even be able to say hi and explain everything to her. She could have everything they had online in reality but instead she had to continue living her own personal lie of a life in order to keep herself safe. She knew that most of the girls she knew would just chastise her for her sexuality but she'd heard stories about violent attacks and Dean Weaver's current stint in the hospital demonstrated them to be true.

Pulling herself up from the bed she moved over to her desk and switched on her computer. There was no use trying to avoid her online as well. It would be too much of a wrench to loose all that they had in an instant anyway. Running her hand over her face as the computer went through it's login stages she looked to the side of her computer and was reminded of the liar she was. Of the terrible girlfriend and all around horrible human being she'd become as of late. When she hadn't had a girl in particular to focus on it had been easier to pretend. To take pictures with Aiden like the one staring back at her from the frame by her lamp. To smile at a camera and look like she'd so in love with the guy possessively wrapping his arms around her. It's so easy to lie on a daily basis, to save everyone's feelings, when you don't have the reminder that you like girls facing you every time you turn a corner. Sighing as she pushed the frame face down to stop her own smile from taunting her, she signed into MSN and saw the message waiting for her. It sounded a little ominous but she would bite the bullet and ask the obvious reply. 'Sure! What did you want to ask?' She typed trying not to think about the consequences of her statement. Sounding breezy and non-shallont was easy enough so long as it was a question she wanted to answer.

[beth]

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As she waited for a reply from who she considered her girlfriend, at least online, Addison wondered if it had been a good idea to reveal her identity after all, to be so trusting without knowing who the girl she was talking to was. It really had been foolhardy of her; she could be talking to really anyone, even perhaps a creepy man with long hair. She had nothing against men, but she just wasn't interested in them the way she was interested in this girl, whoever she was.

Also, the fact that she was afraid to even tell her signaled that the girl had to be someone she knew or at least knew of. She had wracked her brain for a couple of nights now trying to remember if she had seen anyone looking at her differently or anyone new walking down the hallways she traveled to get to class. She had come up blank every frustrating time and had the good sense not to just stare at every girl who walked by. She wasn't ready to reveal her orientation yet, which was another reason it had been stupid to tell the girl. Along with a creeper, she could be a gossip, someone who would tell all her friends, who would then laugh her out of the school.

So she was practically forced to have this conversation, even if the girl on the other side of the screen wasn't ready. Seeing the familiar screen name sign on she smiled automatically, though knew she might not be smiling for long if her girlfriend got offended by her question. Pausing before replying, she tried to think of something, some way she wouldn't have to ask the girl's name at least, but again came up with nothing. So she bit her lip and typed, I just wanted to know if you were ready to tell me your name yet. That sounded pretty innocuous, giving her the option not to. Sure, Addison would be pretty damn disappointed but it might speed up the yearning the girl hopefully had to tell her her identity.